"One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering."

Ida Scott Taylor

Saturday, May 11, 2013

A Beautiful HEART

I hope all of you mother's out there have a
very special Mother's Day tomorrow.

Mother's Day has always been a
bittersweet day for me in some 

I love being a mother
 to our beautiful inside and out
daughters, Jessica and Jaymie, who are 
now adult mothers themselves.
What a blessing God bestowed upon me to be given the blessing of being their momma.

They live states away from us now, 
so although I won't 
get to hug them in person and spend time with them tomorrow, 
they are forever a part of my HEART
 and I'm sending them my  hugs and kisses.

My own mother passed away 19 years ago,
 the day after my 39th birthday.

-my mother and father holding little ole' me-

My mother had the most beautiful smile
 and a kind heart.
When I was a little bitty girl, she would sing 
and do little dance moves as 
she cleaned the house. 
 I do remember how this would make me giggle
 and would put a smile in my heart.
I knew she loved me.

But in her mid-twenties, she developed a
mental illness disorder that changed her life in many ways.
I tear up now just thinking about the pain she endured and how the illness 
took her farther away from us.

 Doctors know so much more about this illness now and how to treat it, than 
they knew back then.
Families had very little knowledge
 and support on how
 to live with and  help their loved one through
 this illness at that time. 

mom and me (1957)

On Mother's Day especially, 
I always think
about the special things I remember about my mom, but
also wish I could have known her more 
on a deeper mother/daughter level
that the illness masked from
all it could have been.
I'm so thankful for the time I did have
and for the times over the years
where the illness mask would
come down for a time
and her beautiful HEART 
would always shine through.

One day I will see her again in heaven
as the momma I remember, 
singing and dancing as she made me giggle.

Me, my 2 sisters and brother.
I'm the oldest in the back
with the too tight of a curly home permanent
my grandma gave me!

I don't know your mother story,
but I do know this....
whatever it is, be it wonderful, strained
or fair...that God can take
it, yes...all of it, and teach you good things
that will make you a better mother yourself. 
 He will use your life experiences,
 ( the good and  painful)
 to make you the person you are, the one
you want to be, when
you choose to allow him to help you.
I couldn't do it without him.

Love and Hugs,

1000 Thanksgiving Gifts continued.......

688. seeing yellow finches at my new birdie feeder
689. $10.00 off my new sandals
690. celebrating 37 years anniversary with my hubby
691. wonderful time with our grandchildren recently
692. the fragrant smell from our blooming lilac bushes 
693. the special blessing of being Jessica and Jaymie's momma


Kaitlin @ Homemaker Design said...

Wow, that is sure some story - I'm sorry to hear about your mom and that loss! Losing a parent is amazingly much for challenging then one could ever expect! I pray you feel loved and blessed this mother's day! You mom sounded like a lovely soul, and that first picture of you with your parents is so sweet!! God bless you this weekend LeeAnn! ♥

Kathy Kellogg said...

Lee Ann, I love your post. It made me tear up thinking about what a beautiful person your Mom was before she became ill. I wish you kids could have known her as a well person for longer. She was so proud of all of you!!
Love, Kathy

Jennifer Richardson said...

there is so much recompense coming, i believe dear Lee Ann,
for everything you lost and missed because of the terrible thing that took your mother's focused attention away from your young heart.
you're going to see so much miracle
it's gonna amaze you, I just believe:)
love to you and your own big mamabear heart,

LeeAnn@Encouragement Is Contagious said...

Thank you so much girls for your sweet comments. They each made me tear up.

rachel awes said...

happy mothers day, leeann,
to all that you hold in your
heart...all the tugs + layers.