The Bittersweetness of this Day

It's bad when you've been so behind

 in putting up new posts on 

your blog that you re-post one

 you've already posted and written before.

I hope you will forgive me,

 but this post 

is in honor of my mother on Mother's Day.

And to all of you women who find Mother's Day  to 

be sad or bittersweet because you have lost your mother,

or maybe wished you had known them better or in a different way, etc...

I want you to know you are not alone. 

I understand and here is a heart hug from me. 

You may also find comfort in this special post that 

Lisa Jo Baker has penned on Lysa Terkeurst blog.
(just click on the title link in pink below)

Mother's Day for the Motherless Mother

It certainly touched me!

¨`*•¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`­­­*•.¸¸.••.¸¸.•¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`­­­*•.¸¸.••.¸¸.•¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

here is my original post from May 2013
A Beautiful HEART
(in honor of my mother)

I hope all of you mother's out there have a

very special Mother's Day tomorrow.

Mother's Day has always been a

bittersweet day for me in some 

ways.

I love being a mother

 to our beautiful inside and out

daughters, Jessica and Jaymie, who are 

now adult mothers themselves.

What a blessing God bestowed upon me to be given the 

blessing of being their momma.♥

They live states away from us now, 

so although I won't 

get to hug them in person and spend time 

with them tomorrow, they are forever

 a part of my HEART

 and I'm sending them my  hugs and kisses.

My own mother passed away 19 years ago,

 the day after my 39th birthday.

-my mother and father holding little ole' me-

My mother had the most beautiful smile

 and a kind heart.

When I was a little bitty girl, she would sing 

and do little dance moves as 

she cleaned the house. 

 I do remember how this would

 make me giggle

 and would put a smile in my heart.

I knew she loved me.

But in her mid-twenties, she developed a

mental illness disorder that changed 

her life in many ways.

I tear up now just thinking about the pain she endured

 and how the illness 

took her farther away from us.

 Doctors know so much more about this illness now

 and how to treat it, 

much more than they knew back then.

Families had very little knowledge

 and support on how

 to live with and  help their loved one through

 this illness at that time. 

mom and me (1957)

On Mother's Day especially, 

I always think

about the special things I remember about my mom, but

also wish I could have known her more 

on a deeper mother/daughter level

that the illness masked from

being 

all it could have been.

I'm so thankful for the time I did have

and for the times over the years

where the illness mask would

come down for a time

and her beautiful HEART 

would always shine through.

One day I will see her again in heaven

as the momma I remember, 
singing and dancing as she made me giggle.

Me, my 2 sisters and brother.

I'm the oldest in the back

with the too tight of a curly home permanent

my grandma gave me!

I don't know your mother story,

but I do know this....

whatever it is, be it wonderful, strained

or fair...that God can take

it, yes...all of it, and teach you good things

that will make you a better mother yourself. 

 He will use your life experiences,

 ( the good and  painful)

 to make you the person you are, the one

you want to be, when

you choose to allow him to help you.

I couldn't do it without him.

Love and Hugs,