"One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering."

Ida Scott Taylor


Sunday, May 11, 2014

The Bittersweetness of this Day

It's bad when you've been so behind
 in putting up new posts on 
your blog that you re-post one
 you've already posted and written before.
I hope you will forgive me,
 but this post 
is in honor of my mother on Mother's Day.

And to all of you women who find Mother's Day  to 
be sad or bittersweet because you have lost your mother,
or maybe wished you had known them better or in a different way, etc...
I want you to know you are not alone. 
I understand and here is a heart hug from me. 
You may also find comfort in this special post that 
Lisa Jo Baker has penned on Lysa Terkeurst blog.
(just click on the title link in pink below)


It certainly touched me!

¨`*•¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`­­­*•.¸¸.••.¸¸.•¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`­­­*•.¸¸.••.¸¸.•¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

here is my original post from May 2013
A Beautiful HEART
(in honor of my mother)


I hope all of you mother's out there have a
very special Mother's Day tomorrow.

Mother's Day has always been a
bittersweet day for me in some 
ways.


I love being a mother
 to our beautiful inside and out
daughters, Jessica and Jaymie, who are 
now adult mothers themselves.
What a blessing God bestowed upon me to be given the 
blessing of being their momma.

They live states away from us now, 
so although I won't 
get to hug them in person and spend time 
with them tomorrow, they are forever
 a part of my HEART
 and I'm sending them my  hugs and kisses.

My own mother passed away 19 years ago,
 the day after my 39th birthday.

-my mother and father holding little ole' me-


My mother had the most beautiful smile
 and a kind heart.
When I was a little bitty girl, she would sing 
and do little dance moves as 
she cleaned the house. 
 I do remember how this would
 make me giggle
 and would put a smile in my heart.
I knew she loved me.

But in her mid-twenties, she developed a
mental illness disorder that changed 
her life in many ways.
I tear up now just thinking about the pain she endured
 and how the illness 
took her farther away from us.

 Doctors know so much more about this illness now
 and how to treat it, 
much more than they knew back then.
Families had very little knowledge
 and support on how
 to live with and  help their loved one through
 this illness at that time. 

mom and me (1957)

On Mother's Day especially, 
I always think
about the special things I remember about my mom, but
also wish I could have known her more 
on a deeper mother/daughter level
that the illness masked from
being 
all it could have been.
I'm so thankful for the time I did have
and for the times over the years
where the illness mask would
come down for a time
and her beautiful HEART 
would always shine through.

One day I will see her again in heaven
as the momma I remember, 
singing and dancing as she made me giggle.




Me, my 2 sisters and brother.
I'm the oldest in the back
with the too tight of a curly home permanent
my grandma gave me!


I don't know your mother story,
but I do know this....
whatever it is, be it wonderful, strained
or fair...that God can take
it, yes...all of it, and teach you good things
that will make you a better mother yourself. 
 He will use your life experiences,
 ( the good and  painful)
 to make you the person you are, the one
you want to be, when
you choose to allow him to help you.
I couldn't do it without him.

Love and Hugs,

6 comments:

Bevy @ Treasured Up and Pondered said...

Oh LeAnn - this is beautiful.

I thank you!!! You have no idea how this blessed me...to read this tonight.

Maryse said...

Thank you for the comment on Meditate like a Girl!! I'm so glad you remember your mom with such love. Mine passed away 4 years ago in a few days and is in my heart forever! Much love to you! ♥
Maryse

Jennifer Richardson said...

sending another huge heart hug
to you, dear one, with a strong
knowing that your mama is dancing a gig and grinning at you from her
healthy, glowing whole self right now, so proud of her big girl who shines so bright:)
big love and thanks for the
lovely life-giver that you are,
Jennifer

Carolynn Anctil said...

I can certainly relate to feeling behind...

This is a 'new' post for me and it was lovely, even in its heartbreak.

Isn't it fun/funny to see our mothers wearing dresses and pearls on even the most ordinary of occasions? Different times.

Blessings,
Carolynn

Barbara Shallue said...

This is a beautiful post. As my mother ages, I give thanks for every moment I'm able to spend with her. I know I'm lucky!

Tracey Fletcher King said...

So glad you found me as your blog is fabulous and now I get to visit and get to know you through your wonderful words and images... A great way to start the day