"One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering."

Ida Scott Taylor

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Getting Wings Can Be Painful

My daughters and granddaughter

I must admit that I've been a little sad lately- no it's more like a lot sad lately!  I'm really missing my daughters and my grandchildren.  (oh and I miss my son-in-laws too).  How do you do it when you live states away from your children and grandchildren?  I'd really like to hear from you on  how you cope with this. I'm most of the time, a very positive person, but this is an area that I cry to God about very often. I'm sure He understands, because He misses us when we are distant from Him. Maybe someone else out there feels this way too.  I'm going to get more vulnerable today than I've gotten before in a post, and I hope it helps someone else that is reading this.

I remember, not that long ago, when my husband and I were raising our children and praying for their futures. It was our prayer that we do all that we could to prepare them for when they needed to spread their wings and fly out into being and doing all that God had planned for them. To live their dreams and be happy.  They are doing this and we are so proud of the beautiful women they've become. So when I say that I'm sad, it's not because life didn't turn out for them the way we hoped it would. 

-mute my music on sidebar so you
can enjoy this beautiful video and song-
Mark Harris - Find Your Wings
Music Video Codes at www.yallwire.com

I guess I just have trouble "letting go" and I always have.  I think it stems from feeling lonely as a child.  Both of my parents have passed away, so I feel I can share this with you. I loved my parents but learned to be a little adult very young.  My mother developed a mental illness in her twenties and my father wasn't around very much.  When they were together, my siblings and I saw a lot of fighting and saw things children really shouldn't have to see. We took care of ourselves and of one another.  If the doctors would have known then what they  know now about mental illness, I'm sure my mother wouldn't have had to endure so much pain.  In spite of all her trials, she had a beautiful smile and a very compassionate heart. When I turned 12 years old, my parents divorced and my grandparents were given legal custody of me and my siblings. It was like heaven on earth living with them in my mind, because I finally felt secure under their roof. I call my grandparents my angels because they are the ones that gave me wings. Their love and encouragement and the Lord's love truly made an extreme difference in my life. 

"Every experience God gives us, 
every person He puts in our lives, is the perfect preparation for the
future that only He can see."
Corrie Ten Boom

So another part of my loneliness stems from having to leave my mother. When I was 39 years old she passed away with cancer.  She was only 57 years old.  It seemed to bring back up all the lonely feelings from my childhood again when she passed away.  My father passed away about 4 years later. My grandparents  have since passed away also.  I guess I've had to grieve a lot over my life.  When our daughters got married (10 weeks a part) and left the nest, then my husband started going to college in the evenings after his full-time job. I am so proud of him, but I miss him too.  He graduates in December 2010!!!!!! Hallelujah!!! (I'm so proud of him!)

I couldn't say all that I've just told you about myself without also telling you that the Lord has been there with me through everything and still is today.  When these lonely heart feelings come to me, He is the one who picks me up and gives me the spiritual hug I need. It's then that I can see, all of the blessings that I have been given and even blessings that have come from the trials and pain of my past. 
I love this picture, don't you?

Okay, so if you've really stuck with me down to the
bottom of this LONG post,
I'm so thankful. 
If you have some "missing your children" tips
for me,  I'm all ears!! 

Truly, my friends, I will cheer you on as you learn how to  Fly.......


Peter Stone said...

I like the quote from Corrie Ten Boom. I recall when I was in the midst of a bad trial, that although I felt trapped, God could see the future, how it would end.

It's good how you can see all of God's blessings, even from the trials of the past.

God bless

Tracie Miles said...

Beautiful post Lee Ann. Im sorry you have had to deal with so much pain in your life, but I can certainly see how God is using all of it to glorify Him through your life and your devotion to Him and others. My kids are in 5th, 8th and 10th grades so they are all still at home, but I will be just like you when the time comes for them to be away. I am dreading it already! But God is there, and He will provide the friends and relationships and fulfillment you need to get through. And hopefully soon, you can get your arms around them again! Take care friend. :)

Mary said...

Hi sweetie! We do indeed have much in common. I think when one comes from such a childhood, we long for close, intimate family relationships. It sounds like you created that with your family, and not having them a part of your daily life is hard!! Though you know they are doing well, it is natural to miss them, miss doing life together. It is hard after years spent of pouring your life into them, to see them take off. Even though that is what they should do - it does not make it less painful!!

And yes, God can and does fill the void. I love the picture!!! But our mother's heart can still ache!

Blessings dear friend!!

Heart2Heart said...

Lee Ann,

Can't say I know how you feel since mine still have a few more years left and then who knows. I do look forward to the new life I will have with my hubby and the time we get to do all the things we haven't been able to do while raising our kids.

Keeping you close in our prayers and hoping that you and your hubby can make some plans do enjoy this new time together.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Susan Panzica - EternityCafe said...

Thanks for stopping by Eternity Cafe today! The pleasure is all mine. I'm thankful to find your blog. It ministered greatly to me.

I can tell that you have created a new family legacy, different from the one you grew up in, and that is a huge accomplishment.

My youngest just went off to college in Sept. and now my hubby & I are empty-nesters. My kids aren't states away, so I do get to see them, especially my daughter who is home on most weekends. But it's still a huge life change for us.

I'm thankful for the new technology that allows us to keep in touch better than previous generations - like texting and the internet.

I also have to tell you that I clicked on a link to your previous post about the names God gives us. That is the subject of the book I'm writing! Each chapter looking at a different name. It's such a rich study. I love your illustrations, and may ask to quote you!

I'll be following your blog for more inspiration. I hope that you'll follow mine too.

Much love,

Between You and Me said...

You also have a beautiful blog....and a beautiful heart before the Lord. :)

DJ said...

Photo-sharing sites
Hand-written letters
Texts/Phone calls
Mailed "Care" packages
Family Blogs where team members can post photos/etc.
Mom & Dad Prayer Time when children, grandchildren are put in the omnipotent hands of the One who loves them more than we do...